Crying on the First Day of School

  Here I am, alone in my house for the first time in 18 years.  All of my children are now in school.  I'm at a loss. 

  My oldest is now in college, my middle  child is in Middle School and today my baby went to Kindergarten.  I had a hard time letting go.  My youngest was just in ICU just a few months ago and we were worried that things may have ended poorly.  We took her to the ER here in our town and by the next morning they called for Life Flight to take her to John Hopkins.  They told me "your daughter is very sick".  They said they didn't have time to find out what was wrong, they needed to start a wide variety of antibiotics immediately and slowly take them away as test results came back.  We really never found out what caused her to get so ill.  She was frail and could no longer hold up her head or walk. She then developed pneumonia and needed surgery.  Once we were able to get her stable, they sent us home a few weeks later and we continued treatment there.  She lost a lot of weight and lost most of her hair.  She's still pretty thin and her hair is just now coming back in. There are a few wisps that give a nice illusion of a full head of hair.  That helps her I think.
  Since she's been home, she's had a couple of situations where she has gotten really sick again.  It scares me to death.  A little cold seems to turn into something huge.  She has even told me that it hurts sometimes when I hug her.  That, breaks my heart. 
  But today, I put my little girl on the school bus.  I've really never left her before.  This was new to both of us.  She was so very excited.  She woke up with a huge smile this morning and jumped all around the house, full of joy to make new friends.  I know it's time for her to spread her little wings, but worry hovers over me.  Who will love my baby as much as me?  Is she well enough to be in school?  Will she get sick again?
  I am that crazy mom, I followed the bus to school.  I did.  I just couldn't let go.  I even had to walk to her classroom with her.  I think the first day of school was definitely harder on mommy than my little baby. As I write this blog, I wonder what fun things she is doing right now and I have to smile...because I'm very proud of my little "Boo Boo Bear".